In the middle of the summer, I attended a birthday party for my cousin’s daughter. It was the first time in a while I had seen a lot of my cousins and tíos/tías. They noticed the weight loss and complimented me, asked questions and made some off-color jokes (“are you anorexic?”). As I’ve mentioned before, I’m ambivalent about the comments. It’s nice to see that others recognize my efforts, but I’m still uncomfortable the attention to my body when the comments come from men or are mentioned loudly in a group.
One comment still resonates a few months later.
As I was making the rounds and saying goodbye to my family, my uncle pulled me close.
“You look great, mija. But no more… don’t lose anymore.”
I didn’t say anything as I did the quick calculations of how much I still needed to reach my goal, or even be within the healthy weight range for my height.
“Um, thanks tío,” I said softly and then continued on to say goodbye to my other tíos and cousins.
A few months later, my uncles words still ring in my head, especially as I’m getting closer to the number I arbitrarily set for my goal weight and I’m not sure how I’ll feel once I’m there. I’m also tired of having to buy new clothes, especially with the cooler temperatures.
Maybe I should set a different goal: being able to share clothes with my sister. (My mom already passed down a bunch of skirts.)
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